Imaginary Husband

Dear Steve,

I woke up yesterday to the clamoring of thunder and the gentle drumming of rain on my window sill. There is nothing better than a mid-west rainy day where you can curl up and get cozy while the storm rages on outside. In an attempt to " get comfy" I dug out your navy blue over sized sweatpants and your gray Idaho tee shirt, but decided to take it one step further and sprayed your cologne on the baggy tee.(that is not nearly as baggy anymore) After waddling back to bed and finding a comfortable position ( as comfortable as I can get right now) I snuggled up with your blanket. For a moment, I felt like a Steve impersonator, but I don't look nearly as good in your clothes. ( more like a Walmart regular) Suddenly the image of you all dressed for church came to me. I am assuming that memory surfaced because that is one of the only times you would remember to wear cologne. I could smell you the entire day and at times it was comforting and at others heart wrenching. ( for a pregnant chic I really don't cry that often) There was a moment I felt it was a mistake spraying the cologne. The feeling was quickly replaced by more memories of you and the other times you would remember to wear Aqua Di Gio.(which lifted my spirits) No matter where I am or what I might be doing you are there with me. When I watch a movie, you are beside me, falling asleep.. as usual. When I'm in the car driving and singing, you are there poking fun of me.( and singing too) When I sleep, you are laying next to me, practically hugging the edge of the bed ( I still don't know why you do that) Even though you are not here physically I imagine you with me everywhere I go and remember what it was like before you left. You have become my imaginary husband. It is a nice temporary fix, but not even your memory can come close to replacing you. I miss you so much, and December can not come soon enough. Until you come home, I think I will keep imaginary Steve around. I hope you don't feel like I am cheating on you..( with you) I love you more than I love guns( ohh wait that is your line.. but you get the idea)

Love,

Megs

I'm gonna miss...

Dear Steve,

I can't seem to leave the house without seeing at least one black Jeep Cherokee. While they all lack the red sapper sticker on the window and almost none of them are lifted, I am reminded of you. We had some pretty good times in that Jeep. My first memories of that car were also my first memories of you. As we drove to the corn maze on our first date, I played with your ipod and "spied" on your taste in music. I remember turning the volume way up, so I could hear over the rattling of the jeep, causing Jamie and Blaine to nearly go deaf. Then there was the time I asked to drive. I didn't know how well it handled and was testing the Jeep's limits, which got a little scary. ( I am sure you saw your life flash before your eyes at least once) Eventually I got used to driving the Jeep and enjoyed being higher than the other vehicles on the road.( as long as I was not driving on the highway) My favorite Jeep memory would have to be when you were towed from my apartment. Even though you had to get back to school and it was already late, we had so much fun just hanging out and talking while waiting for the tow guy to call us back. ( Jeep lesson # 56 don't park in a handicap space, even if it is just for ten minutes) Despite the numerous flat tires, incessant rattling, and the shear terror that it would fall to pieces once we went over 60 miles an hour, I will always love your Jeep and the memories it was a part of. ( Jeep lesson #102 don't leave your purse in Rexburg and remember once you get to Blackfoot.. ) I bet you are smiling right now thinking about that trip to Idaho in the Jeep.( See you do miss it.. at least a little)

Love,

Megs