Lucky Girl

Dear Friends and Family,

While Steve and I were engaged I went with my mom to her favorite nail place to have a pedicure. The nail technician was asking me all about getting married, Steve and pretty much anything you can think of. When she found out I was marrying a younger man she proceeded to tell me what a LUCKY GIRL I was and that in her country that was considered to be very lucky. Her accent made for a funny story to tell Steve and it has become a running joke between us. I always say what a lucky girl I am in the best accent I can manage. Today I was thinking about just how lucky I truly am and wanted to share. In a few hours I am going to the airport to pick up STEVE!!!!! It still doesn't quite feel real yet, but I am sure that will change the moment I see his face. Not only am I lucky he even gets to come home on leave at all, but we are both so fortunate to have him home during this special time. ( the birth of our first child) I have complained a lot over the past few weeks that I was ready to have the baby and she could come at anytime and I would be alright with it. I am so grateful that she chose to wait for her daddy to come home and be there with us. I am so blessed to have a husband like Steve. He is always supportive, understanding and can make me laugh even when I am mad. ( which gets him out of trouble way too often) I am a lucky girl to have such an amazing family that has taken care of me while Steve is away. Their support has given me the strength to move forward and live as normal of a life as I can. I can't imagine doing this alone, and I know it would make Steve's job in Afghanistan that much harder if he was worrying about me. I just wanted to say Thank you to all of our friends and family that have supported us. We are both so lucky to have all of you in our lives!

Love,
Megs

Imaginary Husband

Dear Steve,

I woke up yesterday to the clamoring of thunder and the gentle drumming of rain on my window sill. There is nothing better than a mid-west rainy day where you can curl up and get cozy while the storm rages on outside. In an attempt to " get comfy" I dug out your navy blue over sized sweatpants and your gray Idaho tee shirt, but decided to take it one step further and sprayed your cologne on the baggy tee.(that is not nearly as baggy anymore) After waddling back to bed and finding a comfortable position ( as comfortable as I can get right now) I snuggled up with your blanket. For a moment, I felt like a Steve impersonator, but I don't look nearly as good in your clothes. ( more like a Walmart regular) Suddenly the image of you all dressed for church came to me. I am assuming that memory surfaced because that is one of the only times you would remember to wear cologne. I could smell you the entire day and at times it was comforting and at others heart wrenching. ( for a pregnant chic I really don't cry that often) There was a moment I felt it was a mistake spraying the cologne. The feeling was quickly replaced by more memories of you and the other times you would remember to wear Aqua Di Gio.(which lifted my spirits) No matter where I am or what I might be doing you are there with me. When I watch a movie, you are beside me, falling asleep.. as usual. When I'm in the car driving and singing, you are there poking fun of me.( and singing too) When I sleep, you are laying next to me, practically hugging the edge of the bed ( I still don't know why you do that) Even though you are not here physically I imagine you with me everywhere I go and remember what it was like before you left. You have become my imaginary husband. It is a nice temporary fix, but not even your memory can come close to replacing you. I miss you so much, and December can not come soon enough. Until you come home, I think I will keep imaginary Steve around. I hope you don't feel like I am cheating on you..( with you) I love you more than I love guns( ohh wait that is your line.. but you get the idea)

Love,

Megs

I'm gonna miss...

Dear Steve,

I can't seem to leave the house without seeing at least one black Jeep Cherokee. While they all lack the red sapper sticker on the window and almost none of them are lifted, I am reminded of you. We had some pretty good times in that Jeep. My first memories of that car were also my first memories of you. As we drove to the corn maze on our first date, I played with your ipod and "spied" on your taste in music. I remember turning the volume way up, so I could hear over the rattling of the jeep, causing Jamie and Blaine to nearly go deaf. Then there was the time I asked to drive. I didn't know how well it handled and was testing the Jeep's limits, which got a little scary. ( I am sure you saw your life flash before your eyes at least once) Eventually I got used to driving the Jeep and enjoyed being higher than the other vehicles on the road.( as long as I was not driving on the highway) My favorite Jeep memory would have to be when you were towed from my apartment. Even though you had to get back to school and it was already late, we had so much fun just hanging out and talking while waiting for the tow guy to call us back. ( Jeep lesson # 56 don't park in a handicap space, even if it is just for ten minutes) Despite the numerous flat tires, incessant rattling, and the shear terror that it would fall to pieces once we went over 60 miles an hour, I will always love your Jeep and the memories it was a part of. ( Jeep lesson #102 don't leave your purse in Rexburg and remember once you get to Blackfoot.. ) I bet you are smiling right now thinking about that trip to Idaho in the Jeep.( See you do miss it.. at least a little)

Love,

Megs

IT'S A ......

Dear Steve,

After a month of fighting with the insurance and a ton of stress I was finally able to get my 20 week ultrasound. ( at 25 weeks) My appointment was at 1 and I couldn't think of anything else all morning. Over the past 5 weeks my excitement for finding out the gender had been slowly replaced with worry that everything would be in proper working order. I drank a little pop an hour before the appointment. (they tell you to drink 8 fluid oz) Deirdre recommended pop, so the baby would be more active during the ultrasound. I was worried that I still needed to drink more, so I drank a few cups of water. I knew as soon as I got to the hospital I would need to pee, but it seemed worth the risk. The baby was moving around in the waiting room and when I laid on the table to begin the ultrasound, the movement subsided. Only after the ultrasound was over did I feel movement again. They checked the heart first and everything looked great! The baby was the size and weight they would expect and all the parts were in the right place. A few times the Ultrasound tech tried to poke the baby, urging it to move. The baby wasn't having it. Stubborn, just like you.( ok... and me) I am sure by now you are dying to know what the gender is.. well I guess I can finally tell you. We are having a little baby GIRL!!! Good thing, because my mom couldn't stop buying dresses and pink cloths for the baby. I'm sure that our little girl will have you wrapped around her finger from birth. You are such a softy for little girls. ( remember our primary class and how you gave Rachael all the stickers you had, even though you were just supposed to give her 1) I know you are going to be an amazing father, and our little girl's hero. As soon as I can I will send you the ultrasound pictures. There is one where she put her arm over her head, like she was ready for the photo shoot to be over. ( I guess she will love taking pictures as much as you) I wish you were here for all of the different stages and to feel your baby girl kick, but I hope you know how proud I am of you. Stay focused on what you are doing. Baby and I are doing great and miss you every day, but you don't need to be worried. ( that's my job)

Love,
Megs

Packages!!!

Dear Friends and Family,

First, I would like to thank everyone for the support they have shown Steve. For those who haven't had a chance to hear from him yet I will give you a run down of how he is doing. After a month of training in Wisconsin he flew out of the country and to his post.( If you need the address just email me and I will send it to you) For the most part he is having a good time and is excited to learn about the people and culture. His favorite part seems to be the children. Every time they leave the base kids flock to the soldiers. The kids always ask Steve for his watch or sunglasses. His face lights up every time he talks about the children. ( especially how excited they get when the boys give them treats) Over all the morale seems to be high and nothing too scary has happened yet. ( at least that Steve will tell me about) Steve and I get to talk almost everyday and that is due in large part to Skype. If you don't already have it I would urge you to download it today. http://www.skype.com/ If you video call another computer from your own there is no charge.( it does cost to call a cell phone) I am sure Steve would love to get calls from all of you and it would be a fun surprise. He is usually able to talk at night, so that would be in the morning over here in the U.S. of A. Ohh, if you are worried about him eating well.. don't.. they have Baskin Robins ice cream.. so we all know Steve is set. If you want to send Steve a little something it is easier and more economical then you would think. The US Postal Service will send you all the packing material you will need to send any soldier a package for free. Just call this number (1-800-610-8734) Ask for the military pack. They send you a total of 10 flat rate boxes, packing tape, mailing labels, and customs forms. You will get a reorder number and can get more if needed. It only cost me $12.50 to send the largest box. ( he recieved it in less than a week.. but they say it can take about 2 weeks to arrive) If you are interested in sending something this is the cheapest way I have found. I know that any thing you do will be greatly appreciated.. so don't hesitate to write a short email to say hello. Thanks again for all of your support!!!

Love,

Megs

Its a start

Dear Steve,

Here is a video of us and our entire courtship from date 5 until after our wedding. I plan on changing it a bit and adding more photos, but its a start.

Love,
Megs

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Brown Thunders

Dear Steve,

Last spring you were so excited to share a special surprise with me. A surprise you said "would help support me through the tough times" I honestly had no idea what to expect, you always keep me on my toes. You reached behind your back and pulled out the most beautiful present I never would have asked for. Of course I loved my new prize, what girl wouldn't LOVE to get a nice brown pair of well used underpants (so romantic) . I remember thinking "is this really it, or just a gag before the real surprise?" You explained how "they supported me through basic and now they can support you"(where do you come up with this stuff?... classic). I was thinking about that brown pair of skivies and how in some way I wish I had a pair to give to everyone who loves you. I'm hoping that this blog will be my symbolic pair of standard issue army underwear, tight, brown and supportive. Hopefully there will be no wedgies or skid marks along the way. I'm hoping everyone enjoys and benefits from what they read( most importantly you) So here's to underwear!!! May we all feel its gentle embrace and may no one feel the cold and lonely breeze from going "commando" !

Love,

Megs

Secrets

Dear Steve,

You have a secret I am going to share with the world. A secret that most will not understand, and that took me a long time to embrace. The secret that you want to leave. Most people after hearing of your impending deployment seem to feel your pain and wish you well on your journey. They then give me the smile that says I'm sorry and deep down I'm glad I'm not in your shoes. ( I can't blame them.. being an army wife is like being a garbage man.. it is no ones dream come true, but as we all know someone has to do the job.) Little do they know its actually what you want. I know that you will miss me and it will be hard. I also know that you want to go, you have to go. Not only because the army demands it, but because you demand it. I have never known anyone that loved danger so much. Not like an adrenaline junkie that jumps out of planes and off bridges (which I am sure you would do as well) you crave real danger, the kind that makes hero's out of men. The kind of danger that makes woman cry at night and pray for the safety of their sons and husbands.( just so you know I am thinking about getting my tear ducts removed.. ) I am sure that very few understand that desire. Its hard for those who love you to not feel a little betrayed at the idea that some part of you wants to leave them behind. I know that at first it felt that way to me. I now realize that it is not that you love me any less, but you love me more. Great men have lived and died for this country and sacrificed all they had to keep it great and now I know one personally. Even though it may seem your contribution is small, its not. What I mean to say is that its OK that part of you wants to leave and defend all that you believe in, I now understand as much as I can why. ( I guess I can share you with the army)

Love,

Megs

Flying by

Dear Friends and family,

As most of you know Steve will be deploying soon . It hit me this past weekend while he was away at drill. The time is flying by and is sure to only gain more speed. I created this blog to help Steve feel connected to his family and friends while he is away. It will be a place for him to look at pictures and hopefully fill in the gaps between emails and phone calls. If you want me to post anything for Steve just email me and I will be more than happy to. Every post will be in letter format usually addressed to Steve, but don't worry it is not private, it is just the way I am choosing to write my posts. I hope that this blog will benefit all those who read it, not just Steve. This deployment will effect everyone and its not going to be easy, but if we support each other I know it will be that much easier.

Love,
Megs