Secrets

Dear Steve,

You have a secret I am going to share with the world. A secret that most will not understand, and that took me a long time to embrace. The secret that you want to leave. Most people after hearing of your impending deployment seem to feel your pain and wish you well on your journey. They then give me the smile that says I'm sorry and deep down I'm glad I'm not in your shoes. ( I can't blame them.. being an army wife is like being a garbage man.. it is no ones dream come true, but as we all know someone has to do the job.) Little do they know its actually what you want. I know that you will miss me and it will be hard. I also know that you want to go, you have to go. Not only because the army demands it, but because you demand it. I have never known anyone that loved danger so much. Not like an adrenaline junkie that jumps out of planes and off bridges (which I am sure you would do as well) you crave real danger, the kind that makes hero's out of men. The kind of danger that makes woman cry at night and pray for the safety of their sons and husbands.( just so you know I am thinking about getting my tear ducts removed.. ) I am sure that very few understand that desire. Its hard for those who love you to not feel a little betrayed at the idea that some part of you wants to leave them behind. I know that at first it felt that way to me. I now realize that it is not that you love me any less, but you love me more. Great men have lived and died for this country and sacrificed all they had to keep it great and now I know one personally. Even though it may seem your contribution is small, its not. What I mean to say is that its OK that part of you wants to leave and defend all that you believe in, I now understand as much as I can why. ( I guess I can share you with the army)

Love,

Megs